Where do you think your team will be in 10 years? My team turned into a bunch of flakes.
No one was
suprised when Eddie Belfour kissed Zac Bierk and they went to ballot class together. They were a little fruity since day 1.
Always trying on eachothers equipment and taking private showers together. It was a shock when Andrew Raycroft went with them
though.
Joe Thornton joined a biker gang. He currently hassles old ladies for quaters. He's yet to get one.
Brendan
Morrow is in the adult film industry.
Ray Whitney said he was goin skinny dippin in Crystal Lake. He didn't come back
for a few days so we sent Tanguay to go get him. He didn't come back either. So Steve Sullivan went searching and found them
splashing each other in the water. The 3 of them are still there to this day.
The Hawks drafted Robbie Schremp in the
1st round. He injured Pitkanen in the 1st day of training camp and has sat ever since. Pitkanen was been traumatized and has
never played another game. Toivonen takes care of him in Finland.
Victor Kozlov got Pronger hooked on russia vodka.
They still play but have been a combined -2394 over the past 8 seasons. They both signed a multi year extension...................................with
Smirnov Ice.
Scott Niedermayer produces Morrow's films.
Brent Mclean got a scare tactic from Bryan Sutter. Sutter
put his hands around his throat. Sutter thought it would help his game if he toughened him up but ended up killing him. Sutter
got 20-life.
Kyle Calder and Handzus were last seen selling bubble bath to 5 year olds.
Pierre-Marc Bouchard
became a horse jockey.
Ray Emery became a pro wrestler.
Igor Radulov joined the russian mob.
Jay Bouwmeester
became an underwear model.
Bryan Mccabe and Willie Mitchell punched each other out arguing over who is a better Dman.
Tuomo
Ruutu was the only success story on this team. He led the NHL in scoring 15 years in a row. Won 15 Hart and Rocket Richard
trophies. He retired at 36 the NHL all time leading goal and point getter. He enjoys watching Morrows movies now.
SUBMITTED BY COLUMBUS GM:
Columbus in 10 years:
Martin Havlat - after a successful career as a consistent 30+ point producer,
he was last seen combing Daniel Alfreddson's golden locks.
Alexei Yashin - Last seen counting his twenty's on a penthouse
balcony repeatedly saying "stupid americans pay money to see me pick my russian balls"
Pavel Bure - Last seen picking
countryman Yashin's balls. Far cry from dating Kournikova 20 years prior
Chris Drury - his soft hands enabled him to
become a proctologist
Mike Peca - killed Darcy Tucker after another playoff cheapshot, in the slammer.
Jeff
O'Neill - As the master of playoff beards, he now works for 'Just for Men' since his beard has now greyed as fast as his game
Sergei
Berezin - was a puck hog his entire career. Now a pig farmer.
Mike Ryder - now a bona-fide superstar in the NHL. has
won every award a player could ever get (besides goalie ones)...including the elusive calder which you only have 1 chance
for .....the one that will always elude Ruutu
Ron Francis
- hes so old, hes gotta be dead in 10 years
Mike Johnson - sells sausages outside nationwide arena
Theo Fleury
- sells beer outside nationwide arena
Krys Kolanos - another concussion limited him to selling bobbleheads of Mike
Ryder outside nationwide arena
Trent Klatt - went back to LA to try to work with Brenden Morrow
Brian Leetch
- retired and now named captain america
Greg de Vries - returned to Holland (hes dutch like me!) and was last seen
eating fish and wearing wooden shoes and showing off his nice set of lips
Paul Mara - has won the Norris a few times.
- his big butt came in handy..doin XL underwear modelling in Bouwmeesters studio.
Kyle McLaren - just look at him...hes
gotta be ridin with Thornton on them harleys
Brian Marchment - spokesperson for Motrin pain relief...and A.D.D. awareness
Luke
Richardson - big tough guy.....carries around feed bags on Berezins farm
Roman Turek - On the street asking if you
could spare him some change so he can buy a beer from Fleury
John Grahame - drug dealer with John Tortorella (looks
like a drug dealer IMO)
Alexandre Daigle - Daigle sells Baigles
Jason Bacashihua - Beat up Bertuzzi good with
his blocker. Also in the slammer......patiently following Peca repeadetly saying " drop the soap, drop the soap"
SUBMITTED BY BLUES GM:
Peter Forsberg took a horrible dive while playing for MoDo in their 2007-2008 season. The fans rushed the
ice and he was sadly beaten to death
Marian Hossa redefines
the term power foward as he scores 60 goals for over 5 years starting in 2004-2005
Pascal Dupuis becomes Gabby's right hand man while he regains his 2002-2003 form. He continues playing before
Gabby and him decide they want to have children (Supposedly
Marian Gaborik actually has female sex glands )
John LeClair
retires in 2005-2006 after back-to-back cup wins for the Flyers
Radek
Bonk and I live happily ever after
Justin Williams soon gets
traded back to the Flyers for Sean Burke's rights so he can replace that horrible Kevin Weekes. Willy returns for the Flyers
2nd cup in back-to-back years.
Mike Fisher and Justin Williams get caught locking lips in the locker room shhh oops
Uhh Lapointe, Johansson, and Young are taken out back and shot after their lack of production
Laperierre is locked up for unknown circumstances....?(It is believed
he carried out an assasination mission on Chicago's Tuomo Ruutu which cut the poor players career short )
Corson **** his pants in the playoffs (colitis )
and stunk the joint up (this is getting boring.....)
Al MacInnis recovers 100% and brings the Blues to their 2nd strait
cup in 2005-2006
Brent Sopel cuts his hair and wins a Norris
Andrei Markov becomes the first defensemen in the modern
era to score 30 goals after he actually learns he needs to use his shot
Vitaly Vishnevski makes Martin Havlat "eat his lunch."
Robert Esche wins the Conn Smythe after bringing
the Flyers to the cup and gets the longest string of Vezina's in NHL history.....he also beats the living **** out of Tomas
Vokoun.
Cechmanek becomes a helluva backup for the St. Louis Blues!!!! or is traded for Chicago foward Sidney Crosby
(Supposedly
Marian Gaborik actually has female sex glands 
)
shhh oops
